So my original post that I had typed about the Eastern Cape disappeared into slogger land, much to my dismay. However, the word must still get out, and I wanted to give you at least a general idea of what I did in the Eastern Cape before I move on to other interesting things...like Soweto (yes, a shameless plug for a future entry).
East London
Thursday, October 12
Flew from Jo-Burg to East London, a city along the southeastern coast of South Africa, where I met and stayed with the Vasi family. The Vasi's were my East London hosts during my previous trip to South Africa, so it was wonderful to reconnect with them again and have more time for conversations other than very early in the morning and late at night.
Nolan, the father, is a manager at Nedbank; Lee-Anne, the mother, runs her own events management company and is also teaching business management at Damien, a private high school/college; Tyrren, at 10 years old, is one of the sweetest and most considerate girls I've ever met; Kaitlyn, at 8, is just downright ornery and full of energy, but always ready to give a hug or a big smile to anyone who will take it.
Thursday evening was mostly spent catching up over a dinner of hot lamb curry, going with Lee-Anne and Nolan to church, talking to Nolan about BEE (Black Economic Empowerment) and East London development, and catching a bit of sport.
Friday, October 13
Went with Lee-Anne to Damien for the morning. The students were around 18 and learning basic percentage rules. The atmosphere was a bit tense because the day before, a group of girls from Lee-Anne's first class stormed out to verbally and physically attack a girl in the next room (I'm not sure why...I think something to do with a guy). In any case, Lee-Anne gave them an ear-full about that in between calculations. And, as I told her later, the students listened because I think it is one of the few times that an adult has actually cared what happens to them.
In both classes, the students were pretty jolly and polite to me. I talked with them a bit during the classes and then during break time outside, and they could not believe that I looked like a "normal" person (I'm guessing that was supposed to mean that I didn't look like the American girls in movies). All in all, the bunch is a little rowdy with some serious family/personal issues, but an energetic and fun group nonetheless.
Nolan picked me up from Damien in the afternoon and I went back home to chill and read the paper. After Lee-Anne returned home, we chatted for a while about the students, teaching, racial issues in the classroom, etc, and then went to pick up the girls from school. From there, we did some grocery shopping, picked up the girls from school, and then went for ice cream and waffles.
Returning back home, Nolan was in a rush trying to prepare for his Burger Bash that evening. After organizing the groceries, I assisted by frying bacon for the first time in my life and then making hamburger patties for about the second time in my life. Kaitlyn graciously provided me with directions on how to do all three of these tasks.
Both Nolan and Lee-Anne have large, extended families. Nolan’s family is Indian and most of his immediate family lives in the same neighborhood so they get together quite often. Lee-Anne’s family is colored (term for mixed-race) and is split between Cape Town and East London, but they still make it a point to have family reunions, etc. Similar to situations in the US, this family togetherness is becoming more unusual in many middle-class families as the children leave to work in Jo-Burg, Cape Town, or Durban.
So as a result of all this happy family stuff, I spent half of the evening trying to remember the in-laws and sister’s names, and whose kids were whose. I put my success rate at just under 50%.
The other half was spent trying to eat discreetly around my burger (I soon gave that up…Nolan’s mother was giving me the motherly eat-up-your-food-stare), and trying to decide if I should join the women who were talking about church, hair, perfume, etc, or the men who were mainly concerned with the cricket match, rugby teams, cars, etc. After trying to add something to each (and learn cricket rules at the same time), I finally gave up and went to play blind-man’s bluff upstairs with the kids (more fun, anyway).
After everyone went home relatively early (9:30, 10:00pm), the evening ended with Lee-Anne and me catching the last part of Jeepers Creepers II (Friday 13th, remember).
I went to bed quite content. It had been awhile since I had been part of a family, with all the quirks and charms that come with it.
Saturday, October 14
I was awakened early with Nolan looking for his golf clubs or something (golf on Saturday mornings with his brothers) and finally coaxed out of bed by Tyrren peeking and giggling through the door. Saturday was sleep-in day for the rest of the family, so Tyrren and I made ourselves comfortable with cartoons and coffee, respectively.
Later, Lee-Anne and I went downtown to the Ann Bryant Gallery to view the opening of the MTN Messages and Meaning Exhibit, which has since received good reviews. The exhibit features beadworks, paintings, and works from major African artists including William Kentridge (South Africa), Kwesi Owusu-Ankomah (Ghana) and Yinke Shonibare (Nigeria).
(http://www.buffalocity.gov.za/news2006/oct/oct4_mtnexhibition.stm).
The Ann Bryant Gallery is a beautiful Victorian style mansion, and as we were walking around in the garden area, Lee-Anne mentioned that many couples have their wedding pictures taken here. But then, she matter-of-factly added that she and Nolan were not able to have theirs taken in the garden when they were married since they were not white. Walking around in such a beautiful area, looking at art, interpreting the pieces with the Sesotho-speaking student, everything seemed happy and fine and together, and this comment snapped me back to remember that what I was doing just then would not have been possible twelve years ago.
After we finished with the gallery, we took a bit of a stroll along the beach area, and then Lee-Anne dropped me off at the shopping center while she had her hair done. I generally just walked around in a daze and then found my way into a bookstore. Luckily, Nolan rescued me from the mall about an hour later and we went to his Mom’s house for the family ritual of Saturday samp and beans lunch. The stuff wasn’t bad, but whatever sauce I put on it required me to drink about five glasses of water. This was cause for much giggling among everyone, but I joked that it must be part of my initiation into the family.
Lee-Anne and I were supposed to go with her friend that afternoon to Mdantsane, the second largest township in South Africa, but the friend cancelled, so we went back to the shopping center. Now granted, East London is a sleepy town compared to Cape Town or Jo-burg, so shopping is one of the main forms of entertainment, but sheesh! Actually, no, shopping is a major activity among middle to upper class South African families and the malls are packed on weekends with people buying—everything. South Africa is experiencing a consumer boom at this point, as more and more people have enough disposable income to buy things that they couldn’t buy before. You can see this as you walk around in the mall: people are dressed way up to go shopping and the whole atmosphere is just loud with BUY BUY BUY. I may be over exaggerating a bit because I personally find this obsessive consumer craze a bit sad and discouraging not only in South Africa, but in the US as well. But that is another matter and I shouldn't be so harsh...
However, there is cause to be concerned with all of this shopping because the consumer craze is also fostering huge percentage of people with enormous amounts of credit card debt. Gael Beckett and I were talking about this one afternoon and she gave an example of furnishing a living room. Instead of getting a couple of pieces at a time, what many families are doing is buying everything for the room and then charging it on a card. There are obviously several factors that go into that decision such as a sense of entitlement, reaction to not having, etc, as Gael the psychologist explained, but really, it is a huge cause for concern.
[In fact, as I was riding around in the truck in Mthatha a few days later listening to the SABC, there are now several radio adds and programs encouraging people to save money or invest it and to pay off credit-card debts, as the interest rate is going sky-high].
But enough of my grumbling about shopping. Lee-Anne and I had a good time and we even chatted with two of Nolan’s sisters while were there (imagine that!).
From the mall, we went to another family gathering where the guys were catching the end of the rugby game and once again the ladies were chatting about stuff. Unfortunately, I did not have my swimming costume, but I played outside with the kids for awhile by the pool before coming inside to do the men-and-women conversation hop again. After a quick snack and a brief synopsis of the game from the men, everybody piled back into their cars to get ready for an extended family member’s 21st birthday party.
21st birthdays are a big deal in South Africa—everybody is invited and everybody comes. This one was no exception and the sisters joked that the entire Indian community of East London was in attendance.
To turn 21 without a child is a cause for celebration and part of the reason for big 21 birthday bashes. 21 is also the coming of age marker. At this particular party, each family member and a few friends made a short speech about this girl and how she has grown up, etc. Then there is a toast and the feast begins. (I must say that by Saturday, I had grown more accustomed to strong curry.) We (Nolan and the family gang) left just as thing were getting started at about 12:30am – these 21st bashes usually last through morning.
I slept pretty well that evening.
Sunday, October 15
Tyrren and I were once again up in the morning – after making her some coffee (and drinking it for her), I packed up my things, said my goodbyes, and boarded the Greyhound from East London to Mthatha. I have a feeling I’ll be back in East London again, sometime, so for me it was more of a see-you-later, rather than a goodbye.
East London left me with warm fuzzies, home-made cards, thoughts about the challenges of being mixed-race in South Africa, my quota of shopping malls, and habit of saying "is it?" and "yesses!"
